My experience living with Tourette Syndrome

Posted 15hrs ago
by Danielle Clatworthy

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A journey to my dream job

Hi, my name is Danielle Clatworthy and I have Tourette’s. I am 30 years old and live in South Wales. I am currently a literacy and numeracy Co-Coordinator at Porthcawl Comprehensive school. It’s been a long road getting here and it’s not always been easy but I hope by reading this it will show everyone with TS that you are capable of anything!

Childhood

When I was 11 I first noticed my tics, it was around this time that my parents got a divorce and I did not take it very well. No one really knew what was going on, my parents (who are amazing and very supportive) didn’t understand at first. I was told to keep still, try to stop moving and as you are all probably aware this made things 10 times worse.

School began to get harder. As more kids noticed my tics, by drawing attention to them it made them worse, they began to make jokes and mimic me to see how I would react. By 13 the bullying was getting really extensive, I even had a teacher mimic my tics in front of the whole class. Still unaware that I had TS I would constantly pretend to be ill to avoid school. I thought that there was no way I would ever be able to get a proper job as no one would take me seriously. My parents took me to the hospital and the word Tourette’s was mentioned but no real diagnosis was given. Medication was suggested but the side effects seemed to outweigh the benefits. So I just carried on, everyday worse than the one before. I had lost all hope.

Diagnosis

I did not officially get diagnosed with TS until I was 28 years old. I did not take the diagnosis very well. In fact, I started to become very depressed and even ended up on antidepressants. The thought of never being able to have full control over my body really took its toll on me. I was lucky enough to have a really supportive family. My husband was amazing during this difficult time. I don’t think I would have got through it without them. They helped me realise that having TS is not the end of the world. Having TS is nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s just another part of me.

Things will get better

Things will get better! I heard that a lot and never really believed it, I mean how could it? But I was wrong, as I got older I grew in confidence. So what if I have tics? That is just me and if I have to deal with it then so does everyone else! I got a job as a bar supervisor which only helped improve my confidence. I was out there in front of people on a daily basis and I wasn’t scared anymore. Although it was constantly in the back of my mind and I did get the odd question about my tics, I was ok.

I always wanted to work in education. I loved the idea of supporting children through all the hard times I experienced. When the advert for my current role went out I was very skeptical. It was in fact in the school that had brought me so many negative memories. Would it be the same again? I decided to go for it, if I could help just one person then it was worth it. It was the best decision I ever made. I am now actively talking about TS to my students, colleagues and anyone who will listen to me. I never thought I would be capable of anything like this. But I am, we all are!

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